Online Dating

The most asked question when people hear about me and my husband is: "How did you two meet?"

I will then answer honestly and proudly, that we met through an online dating app. The reaction varies, but they are usually more curious than judgmental. The single ones would usually ask for tips and tricks, so I decided to write some down here.

Do Not Give Up

You will, for sure, meet some unsavoury characters throughout your online dating quest. I actually got discouraged and gave up online dating a few times before hopping back on with a fresh mindset. I must have encountered hundreds of weirdoes and creeps during my venture there, including:

• the guys who can't take 'no' for an answer.
• the perverts.
• the guys who flirted for a full night and day, and then disappeared into thin air.
• the guys who lay out his ideal wife criteria and marriage expectations from the get go.
• the guys with heavy baggages from his past.
• the one-night-stand hunters.
• the... well, complete weirdoes.

Don't Get Your Hopes Up Too Soon

There was this one guy who actively chatted with me, flirted and talked about films and music, continuously for a whole day and night. Everything went well, I enjoyed our conversation and I thought we had a lot in common. Then, the very next day, he disappeared - he disabled his account. Without saying anything. I can't say I was heartbroken, but it definitely left me dazed and confused.

Sometimes, you invest some time and effort on a guy just to have him stop talking to you. You have to remember, that this is a dating site after all. Everyone wants to find the best person for themselves, and sometimes we have to talk to several people at the same time before making up our minds. I also talked to several guys, which were all nice, before I made up my mind on my current husband. Always have the decency to explain to anyone you're going to stop talking to, don't just disappear. It will be much appreciated.

Just remember: It is best not to invest so much attention on one guy - let alone fall in love - before you two mutually agree to be exclusive with each other, to avoid unnecessary heartbreak and time wasting.

Be Clear with Your Intentions

If your goal is to find someone to have a serious relationship, make it clear from the start. Write it down in your profile, and mention it early on in your conversations. It will save you from the guys who are only looking for one-night-stands or casual relationships. I have actually encountered some gentlemen who are honest with their intention of looking for something casual, and they respected the fact that it wasn't what I was after. There will always be someone who's after the same things you are!

Be Honest

If you want someone child-free or never been married before, or if you absolutely have to have someone older/taller than you, or whatever your dealbreaker is, be honest from the start. On the opposite side, always be honest about who you are. Never lie to suit yourself to their criteria, especially about bigger things like whether you'd want to have children or not. Remember that you ultimately want to be with them, and they will catch on with your lies sooner or later. There are so many men out there - surely there's someone who's a perfect match with you, who wants the same things in life and appreciates you just the way you are.

Always Be Vigilant

Some men are straight up weird or perverted, and these are easy to spot. But you have to remember that there are some smooth criminals as well out there. They may appear kind and loving, but hiding big lies behind all the sweet talk. As your relationship progresses, insist on having phone calls and video calls so you can see if they are really who they claim to be. It is also easier to read a person on live calls rather than through text chats.

The next logical step would be to ask them to meet up. My then-boyfriend (now-husband) lived half a world away and he didn't even have a passport, but he was willing to make the travel to see me. If they're really serious, they would make the effort. Make sure that your first meet-up would be in a public place, let your family and friends know about him, make sure they know where you are and try to read him in those first moments you are finally physically together.

At the end of the day, listen to your gut instinct. If it's telling you that something is not right, listen to it. Don't be afraid to start over - it's a game of finding the one anyway. Remember that this is someone you'll spend the rest of your days with; your choice could literally make or break your life. Make sure it's the right one!